


o wow a group chat of Camelot

by Dreaming_of_a_White_Fox



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gay, Gen, Memes, Texting, gc, groupchat, knights of the round table - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-03 04:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaming_of_a_White_Fox/pseuds/Dreaming_of_a_White_Fox
Summary: Marvlin Doo changed their username to recreational dick rider.le succseriouslyrecreational dick rideryes





	1. omg merkin is dubrk stop him!!

**Author's Note:**

> many typo. much gay. lots derp. mm yes. im tired lol.

**Merlin**  
yalal dead ass this gc hasnt been alive since the ffuckibg  
80tiies  
what the fuck is up in tish bistch amirite

 **Lancelot**  
are you drunk

 **Merlin**  
who isnt its friday

 **Lancelot**  
it's 3pm

 **Merlin**  
honey ur in ireland we in england get ur jet legged ass correct-o ♡♡♡

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Merlin  
England and Ireland are in the UK.  
They are in the same place.  
They are relatively close.

 **Merlin**  
whatevre clotpoks

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
There is no "jet leg" to be "correct-o"ed.

 _Merlin_ changed their username to _fuck dd uo_.

 **fuck dd ou**  
did anybody eask u

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Merlin, idc, youre an idiot and i'm obligated to correct your idiocy.

 **fuck dd ou**  
haha got me fucked up babe ;)

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
We can see that. Go to bed dumbass

 **fuck dd ou**  
haha ew no

 **Lancelot**  
it's okay  
i'll take care of him

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Thank god for you

 **fuck dd ou**  
yes lets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 _Arthur Pendragon_ has left.

 **fuck dd ou**  
haha he jeslous

 **Lancelot**  
lmao


	2. these boys r gay ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its just really gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gwaine is here and it is gay. i luf his gay. even eoine tried to make it as gay as possible. so i made it even more gay.

_Gwaine_ has joined the groupchat.

 **Gwaine**  
hi

 **fuck dd ou**  
hi

 _Gwaine_ has changed their username to _Gay_.

 **Gay**  
*punches whole in walla nd scrEEchES* CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIN

 _fuck dd ou_ has changed their username to _le succ'r_.

 **le succ'r**  
TH E S E WOUND S THEH WILL NAUGHT HEEEAAALLL

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
That is not how you'd use "naught"

 **le succ'r**  
it's memeish o k

 **Gay**  
LMAO

 _Percival the Strong_ has joined the groupchat.

 _Gay_ changed _Percival the Strong_ 's username to _Gay's Dick_.

 **Gay's Dick**  
what the h*ck

 **le succ'r**  
y did u cebsor out heck

 **Gay**  
bc he's so innocent and precious i love him so much ♡♡♡  
my bb :,^

 **le succ'r**  
omg r u guys a thing

 **Gay**  
yes it's been a thing for a month now

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Congrats.

 **le succ'r**  
arty is mad bc he can't get a good dicking

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
I am not

 **le succ'r**  
LMAO

 **Gay**  
I JSUT HEARD HIM SAHY THAT OUT LODU IM CRYING

 **Gay's Dick**  
haha

 **le succ'r**  
perci u need to add some more  
i guess  
hHMPHf

 **Gay's Dick**  
some what?

 **le succ'r**  
omg he's like a cute little puppy gwaine can i keep him

 **Gay**  
IKR ♡♡♡

 **le succ'r**  
LMAO

 **Gay**  
wb u and lance  
u two seem p close tbh

 **le succ'r**  
well im trying but its failing-

 **Gay**  
U LIAR I SAW U TWO FLIRTING IT UP THE OTHER DAY AT WORK

 **le succ'r**  
THAR WASNT FLIRTING

 **Gay**  
YES AND IM STRAIGHT. BIT CH DONT LIE U TWO WERE SMILING AND IT WAS CUTE OK

 **le succ'r**  
STOP HES IN THE GC

 **Gay**  
WE CLEARLY NEED A TALK

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Merlin can barely get a glance

 **Gay**  
O SHIIIIIIIT

 **le succ'r**  
OMFG I HATE U ALL SQUARE UP HOES IM FIGHTING U

 **Lancelot**  
well you didnt fail to impress with your tactics

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
Aww

 **le succ'r**  
ASNDJFIEBFKSJNS IM DELETING

 _le succ'r_ has left the groupchat.

 **Gay**  
LMAOOOO


	3. mmyes le wifey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gwen joins. arthur gets embarrassed vv quickly. lol.

_3:32 PM_

_Guinivere Pendragon_ has joined the groupchat.

_Guinivere Pendragon_ has changed their username to _Queen G_.

**Arthur Pendragon**  
♡

**Queen G**  
xoxo

_Queen G_ has changed _Arthur Pendragon_ 's username to _Pothead_.

**Pothead**  
Oh my god.

**Queen G**  
;)

**Gay**  
IM SO FUCKIBG DEAD

_4:30 PM_

**Gay's Dick**  
he's not actually dead  
but he just fell out of the chair mid bite of lasanga  
he might've hit his head

**Queen G**  
omg

_Pothead_ left the groupchat.

**Gay's Dick**  
LOL!

**Queen G**  
LMAO


	4. tea r s of em barrass emen t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> merlin's back and arthur's mad. but it's ok. there's sex.

_Arthur Pendragon_ has rejoined the groupchat.

 **Queen G**  
hi babe xx

 **Arthur Pendragon**  
I'm mad at you.

 _Gay_ has changed _Arthur Pendragon_ 's username to _Queen B_.

 _Queen B_  
I'm not a queen.

 **Gay**  
ur a b tho

 **Queen G**  
OMG  
GWAINE

 **Gay**  
AYYY

 **Queen B**  
???

 _Queen B_ has changed their username to _King_.

 **King**  
Better :)

 _Lancelot_ added _Merlin_ to the groupchat.

 _Merlin_ changed their username to _Error 404 cannot be found_.

 **Lancelot**  
lol

 **Queen G**  
did i miss something? merlin's not this shy

 **Gay**  
I EMBARRASSED HIM ASDNFJBDODB OOPS

 **Queen G**  
lmao, poor boy

 **Error 404 cannot be found**  
error merkin can nkt be found pleas e try agai n

 **King**  
you know for a computer robot there are quite a few typos. Should I be suspicious?

 _Error 404 cannot be found_ changed _Lancelot's_ username to _le succ_.

 **le succ**  
wh

 **Gay**  
LNAOOO

 **Error 404 cannot be found**  
♡♡♡

 **Queen G**  
u 3 r such peas in pods i could just squish u all together and kiss u

 **King**  
What about me? :(

 **Queen G**  
you can have my gucci coochie later babe xx ;)

 **King**  
I look forward to that.

 **Gay**  
o god heterosexuality

 **le succ**  
LOL

 **Error 404 cannot be found**  
we r 3 gay 5 this G y wud u doo tis

 **Queen G**  
;D


	5. hmm that is *robot voice* su-spi-cious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these conversations happen in the author's head.

**le succ**  
kilgarrah is sassy when he is hungry

**Gay**  
omg u were you at merlin's apt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**le succ**  
um ???  
yes  
i was  
house sitting

**Queen G**  
""""house sitting""""

**Gay's Dick**  
were you two  
like  
um

**Gay**  
what

**Gay's Dick**  
like  
having sex

**Gay**  
HAHAHAHA

**le succ**  
NO OH MY GOSH HE WASNT EVEN HOME

**Gay**  
PERCI KNOWS WHATS UP LMAOOO

**King**  
Is this what I have to wake up to?

**le succ**  
its ok arthur im just as embarrassed

**King**  
No.  
You're the only embarrassed one  
I just cracked up and woke up Queen G.  
Suffer.  
Alone.

**Queen G**  
Cook me breakfast

**King**  
Okay

**Gay**  
AKDHFJBSKSHDK

**le succ**  
you are all horrible human beings

**Gay**  
its ok lance we love u ♡

**le succ**  
fuck u gwaine

**Gay**  
LMAOOOOOOOOO


	6. succ n fucc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it'a not a porno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have written out these scenes  
> not the text scenes
> 
> but  
> teh scenes  
> gwaine is freaking out about
> 
> mmmmmm yes angst

_Error 404 cannot be found_ changed their username to _Marvlin Doo_.

 **Gay**  
wh

 **Marvlin Doo**  
:^

 **Gay**  
ok  
sassy pants  
tell me about yesterday

 **Marvlin Doo**  
???

 **Gay**  
WITH LANCE HONEY  
TELL ME ABOUT IT

 **Marvlin Doo**  
OMG I JUST ASKED HIM TO FEED KILGARRAH WHILE I WAS GONE

 **Gay**  
GONE  
GONE WHERE

 **Marvlin Doo**  
IT WAS A DAY LONG WORK TRIP OK KILGARRAH NEEDS LOOKING AFTER WHEN LEFT ALONE FOR LONGER THAN SIX HOURS

 **Gay**  
U JUST SENT ME A PARAGRAPH OF LIES

 **Marvlin Doo**  
FJCK U GWAINE

 **le succ**  
omg you two  
chill  
but

 **Marvlin Doo**  
?

 **Gay**  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **le succ**  
merlin

 **Marvlin Doo**  
what

 **le succ**  
did you get my note

 **Gay**  
OOOOOOO

 **Marvlin Doo**  
aaksbfisbdj yes  
im deleting bye

 **Gay**  
U GUYS NEED TO FUCC AN SUCC

 **le succ**  
coughs

 **Marvlin Doo**  
LANCE  
NO

 **Gay**  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so yall DID succ an fucc

 **le succ**  
no

 **Marvlin Doo**  
BYE IM LEAVING

 **King**  
Gwaine, I'm at WORK. Stop!

 **Gay**  
ur just jealous cuz theyre gayer than u

 **King**  
No, I'm not.

 **Gay**  
hilarious go back to work daddy

 **King**  
GWAINE

 **Gay**  
LMAOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> le ship hath s a i l e d


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i swear eylon and leon will be there.

_Marvlin Doo_ changed their username to _recreational dick rider_.

 **le succ**  
seriously

 **recreational dick rider**  
yes

 **Gay**  
o my what is this in t er a c tio n

 **Queen G**  
you two r so cute ♡xx

 **le succ**  
we're nor datin g

 **recreational dick rider**  
we're fri ends

 **le succ**  
yes  
v good friends

 **Gay**  
yes  
really really really good friends

 **recreational dick rider**  
gwaine stfu omg

 **Gay**  
I ONLY IMPLIED U TWO WERE BEST FRIENDS  
WHY R U ANGRY  
IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON

 **Gay's Dick**  
Gwaine's doing jumping jacks right now cuz he's that excited.

 **Queen G**  
LMAO

 **le succ**  
gwaine's gonna be disappointed  
because we're not dating

 **King**  
Yet.

 **recreational dick rider**  
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

 **Queen G**  
♡


	8. hi im a nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol idk anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got distracted

_Queen G_ added _Elyan the Knight_ and _Morgan le Fay_ to the groupchat.

 **Elyan the Knight**  
hi

 **Queen G**  
hey bro :)

 **Morgan le Fay**  
Why am I here

 **Gay**  
the heterosexuality is outweighing the gay in this gc

 **recreational dick rider**  
idk gwaine its kinda telling when u accidentally send gay dick pics to ur friends and have a nickname of gay..

 **recreational dick rider**  
ntm the fact that i caught u watching porn  
GAY porn  
for that matter  
on my phone  
u fuck

 **Gay**  
it was for lOve, OKAY?

 **recreational dick rider**  
yeah  
love for the DICK

 **Gay**  
lmao u rite fam

 **Morgan le Fay**  
I personally prefer a woman

 _Eylan the Knight_ left the groupchat.

 **Queen G**  
aww :(  
u guys  
you scared him

 **Gay**  
as the gayest man here i decl are it to be ok

 **recreational dick rider**  
u havebt gotten a good dicking in weeks

 **Gay**  
ONLY BECAUSE PERCI IS OUT OF TOWN OK

 **recreational dick rider**  
GWAINE  
I GET MORE DICK THAN YOU

 **le succ**  
haha

 **Gay**  
ASNDISBDJD YOU TWO ARE FUCKING I SWEAR

 **Morgan le Fay**  
I'm too lesbian for you gay men

 **Queen G**  
dont leave  
theres too much testerone

 **King**  
No there's not.

 **recreational dick rider**  
HAHA ARTHURS MAD

 **King**  
I'm not

 **recreational dick rider**  
yeah right u hoe ur huffing and puffing like that big bad wolf from the anti-smoke commercial

 **le succ**  
huh

 **King**  
Merlin  
I'm going to kill you

 **recreational dick rider**  
♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like  
> really distracted lol


	9. wasnt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gwaine's a little shit

**Gay**  
so i went to merlin's apartment and i heard some vv peculiar noises  
abd i saw lance's car what is happening ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **recreational dick rider**  
that was my cat

 **Gay**  
ur cat cant fuckibg drive merlin

 _recreational dick rider_ left the groupchat.

 **Gay**  
MERLIN NO AKS BCIBSKWHDK

 **le succ**  
that was the tv

 **Gay**  
WHY WERE YOU OVER """"WATCHING TV"""" HUH

 _le succ_ left the groupchat.

 **Queen G**  
HAHA IT HAPPENED SO QUICKLY

 **King**  
I'd be disappointed if they truly were not screwing one another.

 **Morgan le Fay**  
they're so cute together ♡♡I'm jealous

 **Gay**  
it is ok  
i shall  
investigate

 **Queen G**  
gwaine no

 **Gay**  
gwaine YE S

 **Gay's Dick**  
Oh dear…


	10. LOL! 69!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> google search: what is innocence

_Gay's Dick_ changed their username to _Cootie Patootie_.

 **Gay**  
no  
this is unacceptable

 _Gay_ changed _Cootie Patootie's_ username to _my cutie_.

 **my cutie**  
aww  
thats adorable  
thanks

 **Gay**  
♡

5:38 PM

 **King**  
What is 69?

 _Gay_ added _Merlin_ and _Lancelot_ to the groupchat.

 _Gay_ changed _Merlin's_ username to _cat babe_.

 _Gay_ changed _Lancelot's_ username to _banana_.

 **cat babe**  
why am i back-

 **banana**  
lmao

 **Queen G**  
Arthur doesn't know what 69 is  
we need u

 **cat babe**  
thars sinful  
wtf did u marry gwen

 **Queen G**  
lmao

 **King**  
It's an innocent question! what is it?

 **my cutie**  
it has to do with two people cuddling, doesn't it?  
Gwaine said he wanted to try out 69 before I had to leave.

 **cat babe**  
OHMYGOD  
G W AI N E

 **Gay**  
ITS AN INTERESTING CONCEPT OK

 **Morgan le Fay**  
I've done it before  
it's nice if you do it right  
a bit smelly but as long as youre clean youre good

 **Gay**  
HA  
MORGANA KNOWS WHATS UP

 **cat babe**  
gwaine

 **Gay**  
yes

 **banana**  
are you aware that it involves butts honey

 **Gay**  
AOSBFKSBDISBFJDK

 **cat babe**  
LMAO

 **King**  
ok so????  
what is it??????

 **cat babe**  
well  
u see

 **banana**  
it's ass eating

 **cat babe**  
LANCE

 **King**  
Ew…

 **banana**  
sorry  
it's  
double ass eating

 **Gay**  
IM DYING AOSBBFKSBEI

 **my cutie**  
ew  
Gwaine wanted to eat my butt.

 **Gay**  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **cat babe**  
INNOCENCE #####DESTROYED

 **Queen G**  
you kno this conversation is all vv strange bc Arthur actually suggested we try it before

 **banana**  
oh dear

 **cat babe**  
JFC  
HETEROSEXUAL 69ING

 **Gay**  
IM DYING

 _King_ has left the groupchat.

 **Morgan le Fay**  
LMAO


End file.
